What is an Engagement Ceremony?

Last weekend, the church decided they wanted to throw me and Aaron an Engagement Ceremony.  Aaron and I had no idea what this was, since we don't have engagement ceremonies in America.  The pastor and his wife explained that it was a Japanese tradition.  It would be short and take place right after the church service on Sunday and we'd all eat lunch together.  It seemed like no big deal.  We always have lunch after church anyway, so we agreed.

Come Sunday morning, we were very surprised.  After the regular church service, Aaron and I were standing in front of the church facing each other.  The pastor spoke about marriage and cited Genesis 2.  Then he asked us to agree to some sort of vow or promise to love each other under God or something like that, where we answered by saying, "Yes," or "I will."  This was all in Japanese and I didn't have a translator, so I don't know what he said exactly or what I agreed to exactly.  Then Aaron and I shook hands very awkwardly.  Twice.  Then Aaron and I both gave a short testimony about our relationship and God.  I didn't really know what to say, so I just talked about how I prayed for a good husband and how Aaron and I got together.  I think Aaron's testimony was much better, though he gave it in Japanese so I couldn't understand everything he said.

At the end, we stood outside the sanctuary where everyone came up to us and said, "Congratulations."  Many shook our hands.  Some took pictures with us.  The hand shaking was followed by a lunch, where Aaron and I sat in front of everyone.  While we ate, the pastor asked everyone to think of words or word phrases that started with A and C.  Like, American Cheese.  It was pretty difficult for everyone, since Japanese is their main language.  They came up with things like, "at church," or "awesome couple."  Finally we ate dessert: brownies and apple cake.  It was all homemade, so it was very nice.

After it was all over, Aaron and I had to take a step back and breathe.  We thought the engagement ceremony was going to be lunch with cake.  We had no idea that an engagement ceremony was so similar to an actual wedding ceremony!  It was much more serious and formal than we had anticipated. I don't think Japanese people realize just how laid back Hawaiians really are, lol!  REALLY laid back! It's a good thing Manami told me the week before that I had to wear a dress.  Or else, Aaron would've shown up in shorts and slippers, and I would've come in wearing a hoodie!  And prior to Sunday, I couldn't understand why the church staff had been inviting people from my English classes if it was just a small lunch after church.  But finally, it all clicked once we realized what was going on.


We're both very private people.  I'm an introvert and even though Aaron likes to be around people, he hates being the center of attention.  So, standing in front of church and talking about our relationship for an entire Sunday was a lot for us.  Still, even though we weren't quite prepared for everything that took place, we were touched by the effort that the church went through to make it special for us.  The cafeteria was decorated with pink and red pompoms, pink and white balloons, and a sign with our names on it.  We were given flowers, cake, cards, and one student gave us a really nice picture frame.  Especially knowing that most of the people here won't be able to make our actual wedding in Hawaii in March, it was nice to be able to celebrate with them here in Japan.